Holding Back!?

Lately I have been confronted with the question what am I holding back from God. I am pretty sure that it is God who is presenting the question. So I have been pondering many hours about the ways in which I am holding back form God. I have found this to be so much more than a question of generosity. There is more to the story than Bible study and prayer. There is even more to the story than the actions I take based on the relationship I have with God through Jesus Christ. What it comes down to is, what areas of my life am I labeling off limits to God.

Perhaps you the reader of this rambling have a better hold on this than I do, but there are areas of my life which I am reluctant to give to God. The real challenge is found in the fact that it is not always the same area. This shifting of areas tells me that specific areas are not the problem, rather they are the symptom of a greater problem. So what is at the root? Where dose almost every struggle with God in my life begin? Control.

I want to have control of what happens in my life. I want to be the one who calls the shots. I want to be the one who makes things happen. The amazing thing is God says go right ahead. God allows us to take control, now often it leads to a struggle point, but God allows us to be in control of our lives. From time to time while in control I stumble upon what God would want for me, but more often than not I come across disappointment and discouragement. I usually end up going back to God, with tali between legs, and asking for God to take control.

When we are in control we are holding back from God. When we are holding back from God we are forgoing the fullness of life God longs to give us.

I have just finished reading Ecclesiastes as a part of my daily reading. Once again I was struck by the repeated claim that it is all meaningless. Understanding the wisest man to ever live was the originator of the information, adds to the confusion. But when the layers are peeled back we get another look which I think important for us today.

The things listed as meaningless appear to have great value. In fact in our day-to-day lives we ascribe great value to things which are classified as meaningless by Solomon. Most of the things we place value on, and therefore worry about, will simply pass away. That is an extremely humbling thought. The car I hope will last for 25 years, in the end will fail, the flat screen TV, which I am convinced will improve the quality of my life, will pass away. Everything save one will pass away. The constant which will not pass, God, the Creator.

Which leads to a dangerous question, do I value God more than any other thing in my life? In a world of making sound investments, wouldn't it make sense to invest in the only thing that will last. It might seem easier to put our investment in the stock market, oil futures are a good choice, or we might pout our trust in government, some will only trust themselves. In the end all of it will pass away. If we invest our lives in God, through Jesus Christ, empowered by the Holy Spirit, we are investing in that which will not rust and decay.

Now this investment means work. We must stay connected with God (John 15), we must follow the lead of God, and we must trust God fully.

Faith of a Child

There have been pages written songs sung and sermons preached about having the faith of a child. I understand all the points being made, but over the past few days I have gained a new understanding.

My wife has been gone to the Women of Faith conference in Rochester, and I have been hanging out with the kids. I have been amazed by watching the kids interact and by the way they respond to my instruction. There have been many times when I know they have clearly heard and understood the given instructions. They simply were not going to do what I asked. This is nothing unusual for children.

At the same time, my kids trust me fully. They know I will be there for them, and that I have their best interest in mind every time. In a world of uncertain things, they know my wife and I can be trusted.

The faith of a child is what gives us complete trust in our heavenly father. The faith of a child is what also gives us the heart of willful disobedience. There is more than once in my life when I have heard God, and understood God, yet I was not going to do what I heard and understood. Many times I have claimed to not know or understand what God was leading me to do, and it has been true. There are an equal number of times when I have heard, understood and ignored, or I have used the holy sounding language of waiting for God's guidance. The reality is, I was simply being disobedient.

I think we know more of how God is directing us than we like to admit, only we don't want to do what we are being called to do. Just like I long to have my children do what I ask them to do, I am sure God longs to have us, His children, do what we are asked to do.

Tolerance?

Of great value in America today is tolerance. More specifically celebration of diversity. I want to be clear, I am all for it. It is crucial to not only remember, but live in ways that honor the various ways God created human beings. i am working in my own life to be sure I am always looking to press my white, middle-class, conservative boundaries. At the same time there is a great caution in this area of diversity and tolerance.

I attended a seminary which claimed to have a place for every voice. The claim was one of great diversity. You know, true diversity is hard. The seminary I went to, and I have very different theological, political and life understandings. This was all well and good as long as after three years there my voice sounded like theirs.

Diversity and tolerance is not simply giving room for every voice. It is not even a matter of everyone having the same voice. Diversity means that we honor the differences we see between people. The great challenge is not excluding a voice. Being who I am brings with it many privileges, however, increasingly in our world and in the church folks such as myself are being pushed to the margins. Now, I do not think tolerance means white males once again claim center stages, but they should not be excluded because of being white males.

In the end there are two significant challenges which must be negotiated in the waters of diversity and tolerance. Making sure that each voice is truly heard and valued. That each person have equal opportunity to opportunity. Second is the issue of excellence. Often excellence is sacrificed for the sake of diversity. In Christ's church this is a horrible crime. God longs to have the absolute best we can offer, no matter what our make up is. When we sacrifice excellence for diversity, we are not honor God or people, only an ideology. This in turn is idolatry. We should walk very carefully.

A Good Person Whom Christ Approves

"Give my greetings to Apelles, a good man whom Christ approves." Romans 16:10b (NLT)

This section of Romans is filled with greetings and well wishes. As I read through it today, the above verse jumped off the page at me. There are many compliments we seek to garner in our lives, however, it seems as though there may be no higher compliment than what Paul is offering Apelles. How great would it be is I was know first and foremost as a good man who Christ approves.

Then I thought about it, what does it mean to be good, and what does it take for Christ to approve. The danger here is we enter into the difficult discussion of works and faith. Our relationship with Christ is not based on what actions we take, yet faith without works is dead (Thanks James). It is by grace through faith that we establish a salvation relationship with Jesus. Is that the only requirement to be a good person whom Christ approves?

In this passage, which looks simple at it's outset, we see a message telling us, it matters how we live our day-to-day lives. Rooted in Christ, we must live the life Christ showed us how to live. Being good is not measured in earthly standards, rather in against the teachings of God. Being approved by Christ, is not about the actions of our lives, it is about the condition of our hearts. I guess to sum it up the passage urges us that right actions and right motivation are what Christ approves, not just actions, not just words, and not just beliefs. It is our entire life working in concert with God. This constitutes a good person whom Christ approves.

Confronted By God

This morning as I read and prayed I kept feeling the same thing. The first few times I shrugged it off. As the feeling persisted, I realized that God was getting my attention. There was something God wanted to show me about my life. Whenever this happens I have two responses, first I am excited because God is ready to reveal more truth to me. Second, I get an uneasy feeling because I know I am about to be convicted about something.

So what did God show me this morning. That I have a grumbling heart. Lately I have found my mouth and mind filled with judgment more than praise, with critique more than celebration. It is not bad in and of itself for me to be making assessments about the different areas of my life. What is bad is when the grumbling begins to rule my thoughts. So what am I going to do about it.

Step one take an honest look at the situations I am grumbling about. Is what I am feeling a holy grumbling, or is it pride?

Step two, repent of pride, or any other sinful action or thoughts

Step three, change whatever needs to be changed

Step four, phone or get our of the booth. Work to bring about change in you life, and the situation, and stop grumbling.

I guess that is what it really comes to. Those who sit around and complain, but take no action are not helping anybody or thing. Those who seek to change what needs to be changed, without grumbling or complaining, are in a position to be used by God.

Where Are You Resting?

This last weekend, I kept coming back to a passage of scripture. Every time I opened a Bible I came to the same passage. Not being the sharpest, it took me a while, but I got there, God had a word for me. The passage is 1 Samuel 3:1-3, "Meanwhile the boy Samuel served the Lord by assisting Eli. Now in those days messages from the Lord were very rare, and visions were quite uncommon. One night Eli, who was almost blind by now, had gone to bed. the lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was sleeping in the Tabernacle, near the Ark of God."

Now this passage is continues to one of those famous interchanges between God and humanity. God is calling Samuel and finally Sam responds by saying here I am Lord. That, however, is not what caught me. This passage also contains words for our time in that messages and visions were uncommon and rare, still there is another focus I would like to have.

Note where we find Samuel when the Lord calls to him. The text tells us that Sam is in the Tabernacle, near the Ark of God. So I guess this would mean that in order to have God speak to us we need to start sleeping at the church. In particular in the worship space of the church. Hopefully we all can see the foolishness of this idea. Yet there is something very significant. The Ark of God was the place where the people of Sam's day believed God was most present. So we find Sam as close to God as he could earthly get, and God spoke to him.

In my life I am constantly looking for messages and visions from God. I so long to hear from God and see what God wants me to see. I long to have God call my name so I can respond, here I am Lord. Plain and simple it does not happen as often as I would like. There are seasons of my life when messages and visions from God are very rare and quite uncommon. I ask God to reveal to me the truth. I ask God for direction. Yet I often feel lost and out of touch.

This 1 Samuel passages confronts me with a truth I wish not to be confronted with. God longs to bring a message and a vision to me and to you, only God cannot. Why? Because we are not sleeping in the Tabernacle near the Ark of God. I am not getting as close to God as earthly possible. My desire is to have God simply respond to my beck and call without doing the work of relationship and intimacy.

So if you want to come and sleep in the sanctuary of the church, come. More importantly, if you want to hear and see God, do what every it takes to get as close to God as earthly possible.