Lately I have been confronted with the question what am I holding back from God. I am pretty sure that it is God who is presenting the question. So I have been pondering many hours about the ways in which I am holding back form God. I have found this to be so much more than a question of generosity. There is more to the story than Bible study and prayer. There is even more to the story than the actions I take based on the relationship I have with God through Jesus Christ. What it comes down to is, what areas of my life am I labeling off limits to God.
Perhaps you the reader of this rambling have a better hold on this than I do, but there are areas of my life which I am reluctant to give to God. The real challenge is found in the fact that it is not always the same area. This shifting of areas tells me that specific areas are not the problem, rather they are the symptom of a greater problem. So what is at the root? Where dose almost every struggle with God in my life begin? Control.
I want to have control of what happens in my life. I want to be the one who calls the shots. I want to be the one who makes things happen. The amazing thing is God says go right ahead. God allows us to take control, now often it leads to a struggle point, but God allows us to be in control of our lives. From time to time while in control I stumble upon what God would want for me, but more often than not I come across disappointment and discouragement. I usually end up going back to God, with tali between legs, and asking for God to take control.
When we are in control we are holding back from God. When we are holding back from God we are forgoing the fullness of life God longs to give us.