After a week of rest, relaxation and reflection I am back. In the mode of confession, I did not read a single one of the books on my reading list. I only read one magazine article, and my scriptures. Other than that, I put it down. I did however do a lot of reflecting about life and ministry. The key question for my time of reflection is and was, "Am I where God wants me to be?"
As you can guess this is a multi-level question and quest. One the highest level, I will only be where God wants me to be once I am in the Kingdom realized. There is always more room for my journey with God through Christ to be a deeper and more intentional walk. On a more temporal level, am I in ministry in places and ways God desires for me? This is not a light or easy question. Not a question which is simply answered in a week or even a month of reflection. The beginning of this question lays in the asking is Cortland UMC the place God wants me to be pastoring? AS best AI can discern, the answer is yes. That is not to say everything is going the way I feel it should, or even that I completely like the place we are at as a ministry. Yet, it is to say, I do not feel my heart tugged anywhere else at this time.
The second wrestling is found in a bigger question. I am still called to be a pastor of the local church? I could fill the pages with the wrestlings here, and maybe I have, but the best I can tell for now is, yes. Is it what I will do for the next 40 years of my life? I don't know and I do not have to have the answer. I am responsible for this moment which God is presenting to me.
It is good to be back, and the mind is firing again. I need to take vacation more often.