I want to go back to the topic of fear. I am amazed how much I allow fear to influence or even make my decisions for me. Some of the fear is external, or should I say fear of what my decisions will mean for those I love. The biggest fear, and the hardest to deal with is the internal fear. More directly, do I have what it takes to accomplish what God has put in front of me. As I have mentioned I feel like God is calling me to be a speaker, preacher and writer. The fear question is, do I really have anything to say? Are there people who would actually pay to hear what I have to say? Who am I that I would have anything to teach to other people? Lots and lots of questions.
This is normally where I start to share some of the breakthrough on the rant of the opening paragraph. Not today. I have no real answers or insight. I do not have a fancy words of trivial ideas on how to get by this fear. All I have is the resounding question, "Do I trust God with my whole life?" Meaning, am I allowing temporal, or earthly things, to control the decisions before me? In my office I have a quote on the wall from the book Entrepreneurial Faith by Walt Kallestad and Kirbyjon Caldwell that says, "If you can't jump brave, jump scared." I am having trouble jumping.
I could rationalize my trouble jumping, but that is all it would be. It is a matter of when will I do what I need to take the chance I need to take.